Packing, packing, packing and some more packing
Tuesday 9 March 2010
Now it's for real. Changed my extra thermometer and extra watch on my computer from Newcastle, Australia, to Mumbai, India. It's 31 degrees there right now at 22.40.
Am a bit hysterical, to much still to do and all I want to do is to lay on the couch doing nothing. Think I am seriously insane who will sit on the flight tomorrow, all alone. The question I dislike most right now: "But do you meet people along the road, or how does it work? Cause I mean it will be pretty lonely being just you for 2,5 month". What do you answer on that? Well, I don't know if you meet people along the road, cause you know I have never done this before, and yeah I am also aware about that it will be pretty lonely being just me for 80 days, thanks for reminding me... I know that they don't mean to harm me, it's just me who is a bit to nervous and to stressed over the whole situation to take it right now.
My biggest fears:
- That I will end up all alone, not meet one nice person that I like who are planning to do the same thing as me.
- Stutter so badly that people can't understand me. A lot in this situation actually make this scenario pretty likely to happened. I will spend much time alone, i.e. I wont speak so much, the less I speak the less coordination training I get, the more I stutter. I will meet new people all the time. The whole thing with being nervous and wanting to make a good impression always make me stutter more. The Asian people I meet in Australia often reacted a bit weird (start laughing etc.) the first time they heard me stutter. It's not because that they are mean, I just think that they aren't used to hear people stutter so much, but the down side for me is that I know that when I start to speak I can expect a bit weird reactions. And finally, for some reason I still, after my five months in Australia, stutter more in english.
- Someone will steal all my things and I will stand there all alone with nothing left.
- That I will be murdered, raped, kidnapped, or something similar.
- That I will sit there in my hotel room with no window in Mumbai on Thursday and just be so terrible homesick and wonder what the hell I am doing there.
Yeah, I think it's these fears I have.
I write them down now so I can remember them when I come home and read it and think that I was so silly who was afraid for all this. 
Now will I fix all my music to my ipod, print all my tickets and finish packing.
