My asia trip

China, China, China. I like this country.
I arrived Wednesday evening after another 13 hours of traveling, one taxi, one airport bus, one six hours flight, a new airport shuttle, one train (the fastest train in the world, kind of cool) and another taxi ride. The coolest thing happend in the shuttle bus from Tianjin airport in China. I entered, sat down and looked up on the tv in the bus and realized that I recognice the guy on the screen. I looked for one more minute and realized that it was Jakob Eklund and Samuel Froler in a swedish thriller with chinese subtitle. That was the most surrialistic thing ever. I was sitting in a shuttle bus in China, only Chinese people and little me, and they are airing a swedish movie in the bus. Cool.

My first couple of days here I was overwhelmed, badly overwhelmed. The hostel I had booked was shitty. Noone in Beijung except for the hostels' staff speak english. The taxi drivers can't even say the most basic things, they don't understand addresses written in english, nothing. In the restaurants, if you are lucky they have a menu with pictures of the food, othervise? Yeah close your eyes and point, and pray for that they don't serve you dog or pig penis (spoke to a Swedish guy who had eaten that, how it tasted? Salty).

Thursday I spent trying to find me a better hostel. I had picked two that I wanted to go and have a look at. To the first one I decided to walk, and the girl in the reception there helped me to write the second hostel's addresses in chinese for the taxi driver which meant that I thought I was safe. Ha, ha, not. I think the address in english said "bla bla street close to bla bla street". The only problem was that my taxi driver only seemed to get the second street, that street my street was close to. He got me there and was happy, I wasn't. Tried to explain to him by pointing that I wanted to go to the address that started the message. We went of again. He had no clue were it was. He drove around for a while, tried to ask people, still couldn't found it. I got tired of it and decided to jump in to the real estate office next to us. None of them spoke more than some basic english phrases but they really tried to help me. One of the women even jumped in to the taxi with me and tried to help the taxi driver to find it. That's so cool about China they don't speak so much english but so many of them really tries to help, that's really nice. Even with this woman's help the taxi driver wasn't able to find it. He found the street, I think, he points on a sign and said it's here (I think atleast that that is what he said). I tried to explain that I wanted to go to number one on the street. He drive of again and goes to another street, stops and point on the building number one and sais: "Nomber one, no hostel" Yeah... kind of logical since we aren't at the right street. I decide to just give up, just get out of the taxi and try to somehow find it myself. Once again the sweet woman helps me. I point on the street name on my note and she is able to walk me to the right street, and there in the distance I can see a international hostel sign. I'm so happy in that moment.
After have had a look at the second hostel I decide to chose the first one, a bit ironic maybe since I put so much effort in finding the second one, but still it was a great adventure

The problem for me the first days here was that everything seemed to be a great adventure if you have a good day, in a worse mode everything appared to be a really big annoying procedure, and after I had managed to change hostel my energy was out. After my hechtical short stop in Malaysia were I was running around on adrenalin I started to realise that I was alone again after over three weeks of 24 7 with someone. So to sum it up: I was lonely, lost and deeply tired and didn't know how to found the energy to make sense of this country. Even finding food is a big procedure since many of the restaurants don't have a menu in english.
So the rest of that Thursday and the start of the day after I was mostly doing nothing, and it was one cool thing about that cause for the first time in my travel (excluded Thailand of course, but that was another thing) I had a really long time in one spot. I actually didn't have to go out start sighseeing the same day I arrived, since I would spend 12 whole days here.

I was lucky thou to start talk to Nathalie from the US and we realised that we both wanted to go to the beach which lays a couple of hours from Beijing by train. She had already been here for a week for a congress so she knew more about how the city worked, and she dragged me out for some sighseeing. It was so nice to have someone with me those first days. Someone who could try to help you make sense of how this society works, how you did the basic things. Back at the hostel we meet up with the German guy she had meet the night before and he took us out to a restaurant, and here we talking high fashion restaurant. That's the cool thing with traveling alone. You can end up eating luxury dinner with people you talked to for the first time sex hours earlier. The food was amazing, there prime dish was the Beijing roasted duck, and believe me it was a good one. also all the small dishes we had before and after was wonderful. And the experience didn't got worse by the German guy insisting to pay for it all

The day after, Saturday we left for Bediade, the beach town, me, Nathalie and the German guy from the night before who had ditched his plans to go to Mongolia (or rather postponed them) for joyning us (or more accurate, to join Nathalie... ). I had looking forward to laying on the beach and actually get a real tan (that's the problem with going to Thailand this time of the year, it's actually to hot to lay on the beach during the day, and yeah I was a bit to lazy for it to ). The problem was that when we arrived in Beidaihe it was cold. It was like 18 degres and windy. For me it was a shock. I had spent my last 2,5 months in 35+. The only dress code that I had followed had been to put on as little and thin clothes as possible. The decisions have been about if it's possible to take that dress out for dinner since you have to were a belt to it and I will probably sweat to much under the belt. 3 am in the morning you still not were a sweater, you just stop sweating. That was how I had lived, to freeze on a beach, it was outside my mental map by now. And there I arrive, wearing my thin clothes as always, and I was freezing, so badly. During the first hour it worked pretty fine casue the sun was still out and it wasn't that windy. Then it got cloudy and the wind increased. We gave up the laying on the beach and went for some sighseeing trying to find an ATM and I was freezing my but off and I was seriously thinking that I never would be able to become warm again, especially since even inside the houses it's pretty cold. Back at the hostel I put the heater on max, took a hot shower (tried at least, the water wasn't that warm) and was laying under three blankets for three hours, still freezing. Finally I managed to unfreeze myself and before the evenings dinner I put on layer after layer and used my sari, which had worked as a beach towel so far, as a scarf, anything to stay warm.

The only cool thing with Beidaihe was that here you didn't just see Chinese signs that you can't read, they also had the Russian (cyrillic?) alphabet. So we entered the restaurants and were handed one menu in Chinese signs and one in Russian signs, just so weirdly wonderful. But for the rest Beidaihe was a small, depressing place. Besides the cold weather there idea of a cousy restaurant was a big room with a fluroscent lamp in the cealing (which seems to be a common missunderstanding here in China). The clothes shops were more or less non existing. The hotel had probably been nice, for like 25 years and some water losses ago. Now it was just runned down, with floor and walls damaged by damp and smelly bathrooms. So all I wanted after that first day was to get out of there and go back to Beijing again.

Lucky for me Nathalie didn't want to leave (the german left for Mongolia) which gave us an awesome day on, wait for it, the Great wall of China (Kinesiska muren). We took a taxi to a part of the wall and then we were actually walking, or rather climbing, on the wall. It was so amazingly cool. Here we were a random Sunday on the great wall, I mean can you have a better Sunday than that? I seriously think the Great wall is the coolest historic place in the world. The spot we were at was really leaning upwards (since it was the first peak on the east part of the wall, or something like that) so it was a really hard work out to get up there, but it was so worth it
Afterwards we found the night foodmarket in the small village we were in and we ordered food by pointing on the sticks, hoping that it was kind of chicken... We had excpect her to bbq them for us, instead we ended up with deep fried sticks, included deepfried vegtables. A bit intersting but can actually tell you that deep fried cauliflower (blomkal) is really good. And to top it of we paid 2,5 euro each for 10 sticks and drinks.

Monday morning we left Beidaihe for going back to Beijing. Nathalie had two friends who flow in from the US and we wanted to be at there hostel before they arrived, which shoudln't be a problem, ha ha that was what we had thought. The train to Beidaihe had taken three hours, the train back took five hours, and we had to go to our hostel, repack everything (since we had left most of our stuff there) go back in to the taxi and drive to the hostel her friends had booked. So they had been sitting there waiting for us for half an hour, but they seemed to have survived that to
Since they only planned to stay in Beijing for three days, we decided to go the day after to the Forbidden city, a small city within Beijing were the different emperors of China had been living for hundreds of years and all the normal citizens was denied access. The Forbidden city was cool, it had heaps of amazing buildings and was really beautiful. One more cool thing was the audiable guides who both had the guide recorded in swedish and were runned via gps, so the guide felt were you were and when you were at the right spot the recorded guide started to speak in your headset. Pretty impressive.

Wednesday, the day after the Forbidden city, we went for the big Great wall tour, a four hours hike on the wall. Believe me it was amazing. Totally amazing. The hike was pretty hard sometimes, but after our hike on the other part of the great wall during the Sunday, it wasn't too bad, at least not for the first three hours. The last 20 minutes our legs was literally shaking, since you were walking so much up and down with really big steps and high slope. But it was so worth it. The view was amazing and I mean to walk on the Great Wall of China for four hours, how can that not be amazing? Think I took more picture during those hours than what I did during my whole period in Thailand... That day was just so, so wonderful.
In the evening we decided to go out, as the other evenings earlier, the only difference was that I thought that we should try the ridiculous cheap Chinese alcohol. We paid less than one euro for 500 ml 43% alcohol. I have no idea what it actually was we were drinking, I just know that it tasted aceton and we managed to finish the whole bottle in shots during the 30 minutes taxi ride to the club of the evening, also know that it worked cause we all got drunk, that's for sure...

The three american girls left the day after, this Thursday, and it was just me again. But this time it was actually nice. Not because of the american girls, they had been awesome to hang around with, but because it was just nice being just me. That evening I spent on the hostels courtyard, under my blancet reading my book next to a candle. And I had an awesome evening, just have time to think, time to just be. My last four days have followed the same pattern.
Knowing that I was going home in four days made one part of me really impatient. I had already been in Beijing for over a week, I wasn't that interested in trying to meet some new people and just wanted to go home. I was ready and I wanted to leave, now. But I still had four days to fill. The other side of the coin was that I realised that it was just four days left and I wanted to enjoy the luxury to spend those days with just me. I could have been going sighseeing, eating dinner and drinking with people from the hostel, but I didn't wanted to. I just wanted to walk around just me. Wanted to sit and read my book during the evening (update my travel blog...), just be, do what I wanted and I think in some way wanted to land after all my travel. To make a closure with myself in someway. I don't know, just know that is has been four really relaxing days and that I haven't felt lonely for one second.

But as I said I still had four days to fill before departing for Gothenburg, Sweden. Friday I went out for some shopping, first to some of the so cute old districts in Beijing and then to one of these crazy indoors markets were you have to bargain (pruta) as a maniac. Saturday I went to one of the famuos parks, to another indoor market and then back to the first one, were I bargain as a goodess for some bags. That's a benefit from traveling in Asia for so long, you became good at bargain (or end up broke). The day after when I went to a food market i managed to cut 50% of the price for a fruit stick and was able to go back and get a new one when the promised strawberries turned out to be tomatoes. So bargain, I like it and I'm good at it by now.

Sunday morning I was really pissed of, for reason that isn't important anymore, but the good thing with that was that I had to get it out of my system so I went out walking for four hours as a lunitic through Beijing, and ended up to have an awesome day. I started of on all this small streets were you can still find the old China. Small narrow streets, were old men are sitting playing board games, were the workers use bicycle to transport things. It's wonderful, cute and beatiful with all the green trees. Then afte a bit more walking I ended up on what look likes Sydney, New York or wathever big city you want. That's the cool thing with this city, it has a so awesome mixture of old and new.
I had had this plan to go and see the Summer palace (some more old cool buildings) but that days sighseeing by feet in Beijing made me realized that no matter how cool the old buildings are, that wasn't what I wanted to see. I wanted to see Beijing, the today Beijing which it's crazy mixture of old and new. So my last day, i.e. today (I'm going home tomorrow, so, so cool ), I spend in the same way. Just walking around, wisiting a park, then just walking and looking. Awesome.

So how would I describe Beijing? I think my best way to describe this city is to compare here to an old wise soul with dignity that is captured in a new chick and welldressed young woman. The kind of girl you like to hang around, just because that she is so cool, without having to rub it in your face. She knows already that she is awesome, with this amazingly long history, so she don't have to show of, she can just be and even if you aren't as cool as her she still wants to hang around with you, she is still curious and wants to know you. That is Beijing for me, and also the rest of China, judged on the small part I have seen. I like this country, cause they are clever enough to realize that they have an amazingly long and impressive history, and they have the sense to be proud over it, as the same time as they want to be an important part of the 21th century. They seem to manage to take the old history with them in creating the new, and that is impressive to see. When you are walking around in Beijing, especially on a weekend, what you see is tons and tons of Chinese tourists. They now have the money to travel around, and they chose to see there own country, and I can understand them. The people here doesn't speak englsih, most of them not at all, but almost all people I have meet they want to help. They are curious on us westerns, and I get the feeling that they like that we are here. The women in Beijing make you feel like you are in a shooting of Sex and the City, they all dress fabulously. Beijing also have trees, it is actuallt green whch is sush a realife after way to many ugly looking Asian big cities. Also the climate has been awesome during my staying, except for the two days around Bediadhe, the temperature in Beijing has been around 28 degres and sunny but not humid. So I have been able to actually sightseeing in the middle of the day, without almost not sweating and all, and at the same tome been so nicly warm, awesome.

So to sum it up, after a shaky start I really like the parts of China I have seen and I really like Beijing. Would they just start to embrace the concepts of cousy restaurants and cafes (those once that you want to spend a rainy Sunday in) with englsih menues, start to produce clothes larger than small (or if I would drope 15 kilos or so, and operate my feet to be smaller) and expand there subway system so it would be easier to move around and maybe be able to speak a better english, than I could live in this city for a year or two Me love Beijing.

Now, guess what? I am of to packing. Packing for which time? The last one. Cause do you know what? I'm going home, TOMORROW. Wihii, will be so cool and so nice

Traveling from Ko Tao, a small island on Thailand's eastcoast, to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia is one of this trips when you really realize that you are in Asia and that traveling in Asia isn't as traveling back home and you are pretty happy if it isn't the first trip you do after leaving the airport on arrival...

I left by motorbike from our resort at 8.30 pm (20.30) Sunday evening the 16th of May. My 20 kilos backpack between the driver's legs, me behind him. Got to the ferry, borded for my overnight 7,5 hours boattrip to the mainland. We had one bed each, bed meaning a somewhere around 45 cm wide matrass on the floor. On each side of the boat it was 25 matrasses like this laying next to each other, which meant that if both you and your neighbor were laying on your backs you were laying shoulder to shoulder, so cousy for a single traveler...
Despite the lamp that was shining right in my face I managed to sleep some hours. Arrived at mainland, in the town Surat Thani. we got up on the back of a truck which drove us the 250 metres to there office. And there sat we, in the dark around 4.45 am in the morning and were told that the bus would leave around 6 o clock. At 6.30 me and another girl were directed to a new car that drove us to a new office where we were told that the bus would pick us up at 7 am. 7.30 a minibus arrived instead of the promised "big bus the whole way".

Our journey to the border between Thailand and Cambodia started, a border that both UD and Lonely Planet advise you to not cross via land. But since nothing has happend there in a long time I took a chance and chosed that anyway. My second consern was the fact that despite my extension of my visa for seven days I had overstayed another four days in Thailand which you have to pay a fee for 10 euros per day. I was avare about the fee, so that was fine, but at the bus companie's officea at Surat Thani the lady told me that I had to take with me a large amount in the Malaysian currency, othervise they wouldn't let me in since I had overstayed. I had never heard that before but decided to go back to the atm and withdrawl more money which she would exchange for me. Back at the office she gives me the worst exchange rate ever, and luckily enough I had been too long time on the roads, so I to start with calculating what exchange rate she tries to give me and realised that it was really bad and I also had the gut to tell her that I would exchange it somewere else, she got pissed, big time, and told me that I had to blame myself cause they wouldn't let me in to Malaysia. I was cool enough to turn her down but it was still going around a bit in the back of my head the whole trip to the border. Finally there my gut feeling had of course been right, the lady at the travel office had just tried to rip me of, I didn't had to show up how much money I had it was just to pay the fee and enter.

So when we entered Malaysia somewere around lunch those two problem was gone but a new one appared. We were promised to be in Kuala Lumpur latest 10 pm (22.00) Monday evening but I started to realise that they wouldn't be able to keep this schedual, in other words as usual when you are traveling in Asia. My only problem were that the reception on my booked hostel closed at 11 pm and I started to be a bit stressed if we would be able to make it. I mean after traveling for so long you know that everything works out fine in the end, if my hostel is closed I can just go somewere else etc. But still, after 20 hours traveling even 2 months traveling's calm start to vanish.

We changed bus, again after a half hour stop which luckily enough included a run to Mc Donalds. You can have many opinions about Mc Donalds but after seeing the most weirdest road restaurants in Asia you are just so basically happy for being able to go to a restaurant were you recognice the food, know that it's safe to eat it and that you will like it. To make my day even better our bus for the last part was one of this really luxury VIP buses with the widest bus seats I have ever seen, wonderful and so deserved after already 20 hours of traveling. Before we were able to leave the bus station a lady had to count us and do something with some lists for 45 minutes, I have no clue about what or why all I know was that we had a long way to go and it was no chance we would make it until 10 pm and here we spent 45 minutes doing some kind of counting. It's in those moments you are happy for that you have already have had dinner, been to the toilet and have a nice comfortable seat to sit in.

The highways in Malaysia is amazing, you are actually able to travel around 1100 km in one hour which is a miracle comparing to for example India were you had to take three times that time for the same lenght. My hope started to came back, I predicted that we maybe would be there aroung 11.30 pm, just 1,5 hour late, than the driver decides to take a stop for eating. Only 100 km from Kuala Lumpur and he stoppes for 50 minutes. The "I have been traveling for several months in Asia and am used to this" grace flow out through the window there and then at 11 pm (23.00), after 25 hours traveling when I was suposed to already lay in my bed at my hostel in Kuala Lumpur, and I was ready to bang my head in the wall or just start sobbing "I want to be there now". Finally we took of, drove the last 40 minutes and arrived in Kuala Lumpur 12.45 am (00.45) only two hours and 45 minutes late and after have been traveling for 28 hours with one moped, one boat, two cars, one minibus, one normal bus and one taxi.

My hostel was a wet dream. At the hostel's homepage they had written "We have examened what features travelers want's to have and have build a hostel that have it all", and they had really done that. Big lookers, whit different bins so you can both keep your stuff safe and have some kind of organized order, it was like heaven. But it didn't end there they had aircon, build in bunkbeds with "walls" between them so you actually got some kind of privacy. A bed lamp, another locker just above your pillow. It was amazing, the only shitty thing was that I only stayed there for two nights...

My overstay in Thailand meant (except for me being much more broke because of the extension and overstay fee) that I only had one day in Kuala Lumpur, and after I had have a so laid back time in Thailand I was actually looking forward to go out and see something new. I decided I wanted to do some shoping, so of I left. But all I can say is that shopping in Malaysia is over course even for a shopping lunatic as me. In the two major shopping malls you could either find, a few, really expensive shops, or a lot of cheap shops. The only problem was that the cheap shops had there clothes in just one size, but I mean you can live with that, what I wasn't able to live with thou was the fact that you weren't allowed to try the clothes. When I asked why the answer I got was "Cause they are one size" öhhhh? What? How can that be logical??? Try to buy clothes in one size to start with isn't the easiest you can do. Then not be able to try them on before, because they are one size, that's just... öhhhh.... weird? Idiotic? Blow minding?
Being so close to just give up I found this really cool shops with some of the most amazing clothes I have ever seen, of course in small sizes, since we are in Asia, and of course expensive but managed to find one oh so cute dress.

My day in Kuala Lumpur made me realise it was time to leave the southern Asia since the rain period have started. It started to rain in the afternoon, like crazy, for hours and hours. I thought I would just wait it out, but after 40 minutes and two donuts later I realized I probably had to start moving anyway if I wanted to do anymore shopping today. Of course I could have bought an umberella, of course I could have, but I thought it was cooler to copy another guy and take a left carton and run around with that one over my head when it rained cats and dogs. I had fun, and I definetly think I was an entertaining view for my surrounding.

The day after, Wednesday the 19th of May, it was to go up early and enter the flight to Beijing, China.

So I had arrived in Bangkok. According to people that was on the bus from Cambodia who had been in Bangkok just two days earlier, the city wasn't impacted by the demostrations, all the shopping malls were opened as normal, etc. One of this trips big shopping goals had been to buy cheap jeans in Bangkok, since it is one of the few places that actually have jeans larger than size small. So I started thinking on the way down to Bangkok that I maybe would have time to take a quick trip to one of the shopping malls before I took the night bus to Phuket. I started to talk to this finish girl who was planning to go to one of the big shopping malls right next to the red shirts demostrations so I decided to follow her. We passed right outside the red shirts barrikades, which made me question my decision a bit... But in the shopping mall everything was calm, probably way much calmer than normally since it was just crazy tourist as us whp dared tp come down there... They had lugage storage, but I thought I would just buy one pair of jeans so I didn't nead that. So of I went shopping with my 20 kilos backpack on my back
In and out, founding one pair of jeans, and some food, in two hours. Then out found a cab to take me to the government controlled bus station who was said to have the most reliable bus trips (less "missing belongings" and a bit more in time). My plan was to buy a vip bus ticket down to Phuket, since the trip would be taking over 12 hours and I had been traveling for the last 13 hours already. So VIP was my plan, but no, all vip tickets was out, almost all tickets to Phuket was out, I was offered the middle seat in the five seat long backseat, and all I was thinking was "not a chance, for 12 hours, no". After have been running around between the over 50 tickets counters I manage to find one ticket, second class but in the front road. So managed to slepp some hours at least... I left Bangkok 8.30 pm (20.30) within one hour three granates had detonated close to the red shirts demostrations, which when I found out once again made my question if one pair of cheap jeans was worth it, but I mean I was fine

Arrived in Phuket and realised that they are practising a fixed price for the taxi trips from the busstation, which meant that I paid more for the 45 minutes taxi ride than for my whole trip from Bangkok to Phuket... Arrived at the hostel and totally fell in love with it. It was clean, had charm, was cool, had a dorm (my first one since I left north of Vietnam) with aircondition, lockers, double toilets, even a balcony, the staff spoke good english and the place was places like five minutes from the beach. It was like hostel heaven
After my around 28 hours travel I decided I neaded food, some internet update and then sleep.

Sleept like a princess and when I woke up around 2 pm (14.00) Stephen form Australia was sitting on the floor under my bed, unpacking or something, and impressed me deaply by after ten minutes conversations ask me if I always have been stuttering. I think that is seriously the first time anyone, ever, have dared to ask me straight ahead. I mean everyone notice that I stutter, of course they do, but most people don't know how to react, if it's okay to ask, etc. And I can understand them, I mean with my speach therapist (who also stutters) it took me years before I dared to ask him about that he is cross eyed. So the fact that this Aussie dared to ask impressed me deeply and that kind of determinded my next coming 3,5 weeks in Thailand

As I wrote the hostel was great, but the area, Patong beach, wasn't that impressive. They had shopping malls which looks like European shopping malls. It was really cool to walk in them cause I realised how easy it was, how calm it made me, cause I knew have they worked, it was something I recogniced and know the rules for, and it was so relaxing (but way to expensive thou). I only bought hair colour. I had this crazy idea that I would skip to re colour my hair, mainly because of the problem I realised I would have to found the right hair colour with the right brand in say Cambodia... But walking up and looking myself in the mirror I realized I neaded, badly, some new colour and since this was western shops I thought I would be able to buy it. The only problem is that no thai girls want to have red hair, something I realised after entering shop number six who only sold blond or dark colours. Managed finally to find in a big food store something that was suppose to be "dark red brown", in my hair it was dark brown. Looked good thou, and I have never been brunette before so it was cool and just so wonderful to have some colours back

Except for the really touristic souroundings Patong beach has one other problem, hookers. The sign sais "massage place", and outside is 15 pretty looking girl standing every night. And it wasn't one place like this, it was streets full of them. Stephen had this idea that if I took his hand and pretended to be his girlfriend they would let him be and bother his friend insted. It work, except for one of them grabbing his ase, while I was walking beside him holding his hand. That make you kind of wonder what they were thinking? A threesome? Or a couple coming on romantic vacation and the guy will sneak away to a hooker when the woman is of shopping, or?

I spend two days in Phuket, daytime mostly at the hostel and night time out partying, so those days just went pass. On Saturday morning I left Phuket for Ko Phi Phi, with a promise to meet up Stephen and his friend at the full moon party at Ko Phagnang some nights later.

Ko Phi Phi is a small island outside Phuket who everyone say is so, so beautiful. I had became a so cool and relaxed traveler now that I hadn't made any reservations for my accomonadation, which I kind of regret when I got there. The island is so small that it doesn't have any cars. The hostel which was listed in Lonely planet to have dorms, did have a dorm the only problem was that they were offering me a quarter of a double (!) bunk bed. Once again one of those moments when you realise that Asia can still suprise you. I mean a double bunk bed, who were they planning to lay next to me? Some random guy? And the matrasses was without sheets, the room was one of the dirtiest I have seen in Asia. So I put my backpack back on and start searching for something else, which isn't the easiset carrying 25 kilos in 35+ in the middle of the day... Found finally a room, okay cheap with a fan, window and shared bathroom.
Took a look around the island and was mainly wondering was all the fuss was about? The streets was small, crowded, and the most tourisric I had seen, decided to book one of the day trips that takes you around the whole island with snorkling and beach time.

I went back to my room and realised after a second glance that it was awful. The room smelled and the fan was totally useless and I realised I neaded air con othervise I would die. So up early before the trip would take of to try to find another room. Found a really nice one, with private bathroom, tv and aircon, way to expensive thou, but decided it was worth that for one night.

The day trip was really nice and I understood why everyone found this island so beautiful. We did heaps of snorkling at different cool spots and finished up on a really nice beach. It felt like we spend the whole day in a travel cataloge, this was what you had seen on all those Thailand pictures. On the trip was two sisters from Sweden. During the first hours we spent talking it was so, so weird to speak swedish. I kept finding the english words faster and did several times almost start a new topic in english.

They were planning to leave for Ko Lanta, another island on the west coast of Thailand, the day after, and I thought that they seemed to be nice and that it was actually more logical to see more of the westcoast before I crossed over to the east coast and Ko Phagnang so I decided to join them. That is one of the cool things with traveling buy yourself, you get used to just jump and see what happends. If you meet someone who seems to be nice, you just go along, if it works it's fun, if not you just go somewhere else. So I bought a boat ticket for the same time as the swedish girls would leave, but of course we didn't end up on the same boat. So I sat on a boat on my way to an island I know almost nothing about with no accomondation booked, nothing, and I realised that I was pretty fine with it, cause somehow I believed that it would be fine. And believe me, that's a pretty long way from the girl who left Sweden around 1,5 month earlier.

But wise from my experience from Ko Phi Phi I decided to follow one of the touts who was advertising his resort on the boat. I got a double room with private bathroom and fan in a resort with a big nice swimming pool just on the beach (a really stony beach thou) for 6 euros per night, kind of sweet . I had planned to leave so I would be at Ko Phagnang in time for the full moon party but realised that I didn't have the energy to move along so fast so ended up spending four nights at Ko Lanta. What I did? Read books, swam in the pool, got thai massage, ate food and read. Totally lazy and totally wonderful and for the first time I was really enjoying being just me. To just thinking my thoughts through, in my speed, read as much as I wanted. Just relax. It was also easier since I know that I would meet up Stephen and his friend a couple of days later, cause some days of your own company can be really nice when you know that you will have company soon again.

After four lazy days at Ko Lanta I left for Ko Phagnang, another of this taking three buses, one boat and wait for some unclear reason in the middle for three hours at some travel office in no where. But as always, we arrived were we were suppose to be. Ko Phagnang doesn't have many big roads, specially not to the resort Stephen and his friend Lenny were staying at. You could take a taxi that left 1 pm everyday (I arrived at 6 pm...) for 3 euros, othervise you had to pay 18 euros for a one way taxi, which is a LOT in Thailand for 30 minutes of taxi. Finally arrived at the island I could understand the high rate, seeing how the roads looked, but still.

But I had high service, since Stephen had rented a four wheel for the day and came and picked me up. So we drove away on the fourwheel with my backpack tied behind me. And the trip was a adventure that's for sure. Stephen had written me that he "was a safe driver", it was first when we arrived at the resort I understood that he meant a safe driver over all, not on 4W specifically, since this was the first time he had driven one... I'm actually happy over the fact that I didn't know that during that hours trip and also over the fact that it was dark when we drove so I wasn't able to see how bad the road actually were. When we drove the thing back the day after all I said was "Did we drive here yesterday with my backpack on??, are you kidding me??" But he was actually right, he was a safe driver and I came both there and back in one piece. Even if the way there had one more exciting ingriedient, the fact that one of the breaks stopped working when we were going down hill. We didn't have any flashlight with us and were standing on a small road in nowhere on an island outside Thailand with a broken break. After a while a car passed us and we stopped them and together they ans Stephen tried to solve the problem (I left it to them since my knowledge about 4W are kind of... low...) No one seemed to be able to solve it then the break just started to work again. So we continued just hoping for it to hold the rest of the way. Which it did, except for one more small break down, but as I said we got there in one piece and it was a really cool experience going 4W on the most crazy bumby roads in the dark

The place they had booked was some small version of paradise. We had a small cottage up on the mountain overlooking the bay and the beach. The first night I spend there we were six people sleeping there, but the morning after three of them left so it was only me and the two Aussies left. I spent altogether four days at this place, what we actually did? Well, slept long, swimmed a bit, ate a lot, read some books, and yeah just hanged around.
And that is kind of a good description on my whole 2,5 week in Thailand with Stephen and his friend Lenny. I think I have never spent so many weeks when time just flew by. Typical day: Slept long, lay in bed until one of us (read me) got to hungry, up for a late breakfast maybe around 2 pm, then I maybe spend some time on the beach, Stephen often not, then some more relaxing in the room, out for dinner (when I once again got too hungry, or normally passed the line for too hungry so poor Stephen almost got his eyes pooked out if he stopped on to many places on the way to the restaurant) and then maybe out for some drinks. The most annoying thing during those days was the fact that we had to put on close for going out, a bikini wasn't enough for going to dinner in...

Our scheduel wasn't like this just becuase we were lazy (even if we were) but also because it was to hot to actually have the energy to do something outside between 12-3 pm (12-15). Hot and humid which meant that you were sweating like an idiot.

Anyway after the paradise place at Ko Phagnang we left for having a bit more life around us and went to the part of Ko Phagnang were the full moon party is. We found a nice, cheap resort with a pool to Stephens big happiness. My visa days would end the day after but since I wanted to stay longer in Thailand I decided to extend it and went on an excited adventure to the island next to Ko Phagnang. The girl at the tourist information had told me to be there early, dress really nice and then they would hopefully extend it for me, and the process would probably take at least six hours. I don't know if she had the wrong information or the shaky situation in Bangkok and the drop in toursists it created had created some kind of new regelations, cause the procedure took one hour and even the girls in mini shorts and short tops got extension. I don't care why it went so smoth I was just happy to get my extension

The guys had planned to do a dive course at Ko Tao and since everyone I spoke with said that it was so beatiful there, we decided to get there a bit earlier and just hang around on the island as long as I stayed with them. So the next stop was Ko Tao. Ko Tao was beautiful, but really touristic, small and had shallow beached (that's why it's so good for diving, so should probably had been aware about that, but wasn't...) and even if the rest of Thailand had low season the accomondation at Ko Tao was fully booked thanks to the divers. So seen it in the back mirror it would probably have been better and cheaper to go to Ko Samui instead. But what the, the time there was still really nice. Spend in the way I described above. I'm still amazed buy that. We spend 10 days on this island and I can maximum recall what we did for maybe four days, the rest? I think we just kind of... were, in the best way ever.
So it was with tears pooring I left Ko Tao, Thailand and my beatiful boy Sunday the 16th of May, heading to Kuala Lumpur Malaysia.

Long time, nothing written so will now make a try to sum up everything that has happened since I left you in Phnom Pehn for, how long time is it? I actually have no idea, more than that it feels like ages ago, but it must have been around three weeks ago (I actually wrote this four weeks ago when I still was in Thailand, I just haven't posted it...). It feels like it was really a long time ago at the same time as it feels like these three weeks have just been flying away, weird.

Anyway I, the french and the german guy left the crazy hot Phnom Pehn and headed to Kep in the south of Cambodia on Thursday the 15th of April. We came to Phnom Pehn in the beginning of the Cashmere new year, which made the city more or less deserted since everyone went home to family and friends to celibrate. What we hadn't thought of was where people had went when they left Phnom Pehn, and yeah you can see it coming, to the south and the beaches. So arriving in Kep we realised almost all accomondation were booked out both there and on Rabbit Island, the island outside Kep that was our goal for the trip. We had luck thou and found a tourist police slash tourist agent that helped us to both find accomondation in Kep (a double room with an extra matress on the floor) and a bungalow on Rabbit island. So the day after took we the boat to the Rabbit Island, or we tried at least to catch the boat... If they transport cambodian people they can squeeze down around 15 people in every boat, but according to the law if they are transporting foreigners they can only take six people in every boat. So we ended up waiting there on the pier for around three hours before we finally were able to leave. We can put it this way; the organization could have been a bit better...

Finally at Rabbit island on Friday. One beach with lots of bungalows on, and here we are talking basic bungalows. One double matress on the floor, one mosquito net, one lightball that they turn on between 6 pm and 10 pm (18-22), one toilet the whole in the ground style, no aircon, no fan. In the space between the wall and the floor in the toilet did a chicken jump in, and walked around in our bed. Believe me you get pretty suprised when you open the door and see an alive chicken walking around were you are suppose to sleep. After that we realised that it was a good idea to close the bathroom door when we left the bungalow...

Earlier on my trip I had meet people who totally loved Rabbit island, who explained that it was their favourite place in Cambodia and they spend over a week there. I had, and have, hard to understand this. Sure the beach was nice, but pretty short. Outside the beach there where no real roads along the island, which meant that you more or less was trapt on the beach. Not even the restaurants, if you can call them that, had any fans, so during the hottest period of the day (and here we are talking HOT) there were no where to escape the heat. So for me the whole place was just to warm, to small and to much of a feeling of being trapped, not be able to go anywhere. Also my not so funny travel associated can have effected my judment of the island, since I started to get serioulsy tired of them... So I decided to just leave the morning after, escape from the whole situation you might put it...

So of I went at 6 am the morning after, boat back to Kep, bus up to Phnom Pehn, waiting there for the next bus to Siem Reap. The first like eight hours of the trip I was fine, it was just nice to be on the road again and the cool thing was that I felt so relaxed, so not nervous for coming to a new place, new people etc. And that's cool, cause at some point after so long time of traveling around by yourself you just get use to be insecure, to not know what will come next. This nice feeling sustained until somewhere around traveling hour nine, but for the last four hours of the trip I got tired of being on a bus and just wanted to be in my hostel room in Siem Reap.

Had, in my lonely planet of course, found a place in Siem Reap that had really chaep dorms, for one us dollar per night. Both cheap and a nice way to meet people, was what I thought until I arrived at the hostel. If you learn one thing by traveling around like this is; that before you go to a place you have this image in your head about how the place will look like and in 95% of the cases you get suprise and realize that it doesn't look like that at all. You may think that you would learn from this and just stop create this forehand pictures, so you don't have to use energy at every new place to adjust the reality to the picture you had, but at least I seem to be incaple of stop create this expectations. But some places makes you more suprised than others. Arriving at the backpackers place in Siem Reap; they had availible dorm beds and they just costed one dollar, the only problem was that they were outside, no roof, no walls. Just some matrassess on the ground, next to each other. The only privacy you had was a mosquito net. No were to look your belongings, no privacy, nothing. It's in those moments you brain just stops for a while. I mean I have learned that my images won't be accurate, but still somewhere your umagination has a bottom line for what it can imaging that it will look like, and this was beyond that line for me. Just as the dorm place in Ho chi minh city that had matresses 3 cm thin, or the place here in Thailand that wanted to give me a half of a double bulk beds (like two double beds on top of each other). I mean how do they think then? That I will sleep there with some random person sleeping five centimeters from me?
Anyway in Siem Reap after checking out five other places I found a okay cheap okay clean place.

The day after, Sunday, I woke up and realized I didn't want to do anything, at all. Just reading my book, laying in my bed, watching tv. I wondered why I was so tired until I realized that I during the last 9 nights I had slept at eight different places... A bit, just a bit, of crazy traveling around... So Sunday was a wonderful lazy day. Monday I woke up and realized I had got more of the blisterds that had started to come a couple of days earlier. Consulated my mother which thought it was because of the heat. So also Monday did I spend mostly in the hotel room, now upgraded to air con, hoping that they would dissapair by themselves. Which they of course didn't. So the day after I had to go to the doctor, spending 40 us dollar on the doctor for five minutes and another 50 dollar on medicine, hurray! Bu they are gone now so recon it was worth it.

The big thing in Siem Riep are all the old temples, and here we are talking heaps of temples, old, big and beautiful. But once again, the heat. I headed out with two british girls before sunrise, by eleven o clock all you wanted, no matter how beautiful the temples are, you just want to head back to your cold hotel room. And also realized that even if I really love history I don't so much like old ruins, I mean they are cool, of course, but still, it's a bit dumb, they don't say so much about what happened there (if you don't pay for a guide of course), and me personally, after seing like six big temples it feels pretty enough.

Now the big plan was leaving Cambodia for entering Thailand. My original plan was to go north in Thailand first for maybe five days to be able to see something more of Thailand than just the beaches, but after spending too many too hot days in different cities I realized I wouldn't keeep with more 35+ cities and also since the situation in Bangkok was really unstable I decided to go straight to Phuket. The big question was just how to get there? By bus or plain? If I would enter via bus I would only get 15 days visa for Thailand and it would be an around 24 hours bus ride, and I had to pass Bangkok which didn't felt really secure. The other option was to fly, more visa days, faster, no Bangkok, but so much more expensive. After a lot and lot of thinking I decided to be economic and go by bus. Found an express bus that would only take 7 hours to Bangkok. Ha, ha. We should have arrived 12.30 at the bus station in the middle of the town, we ended up at 3.30 in the bus station four kilometres north of the city centre. That is so, so typical for traveling in Asia. Here it's not the issue if you become ten minutes later than promised. Here you realize that the time is approximated times, and the important is if you arrive were you are suppose to arrive, I mean at least in the right city, kind of in the right time, +/- some hours
According to people that was on the bus from Cambodia who had been in Bangkok just two days earlier, the city wasn't impacted by the demostrations, all the shopping malls were opened as normal, etc. One of my goals had been to buy cheap jeans in Bangkok, since it is one of the few places that actually have jeans larger than size small. So I started thinking on the way down to Bangkok that I maybe would have time to take a quick trip to one of the shopping malls before I took the night bus to Phuket. I found a finish girl who would head to the
. It feels like it was really a long time ago at the same time as it feels like these three weeks have just been flying away, weird.

Anyway I, the french and the german guy left the crazy hot Phnom Pehn and headed to Kep in the south of Cambodia on Thursday the 15th of April. We came to Phnom Pehn in the beginning of the Cashmere new year, which made the city more or less deserted since everyone went home to family and friends to celibrate. What we hadn't thought of was where people had went when they left Phnom Pehn, and yeah you can see it coming, to the south and the beaches. So arriving in Kep we realised almost all accomondation were booked out both there and on Rabbit Island, the island outside Kep that was our goal for the trip. We had luck thou and found a tourist police slash tourist agent that helped us to both find accomondation in Kep (a double room with an extra matress on the floor) and a bungalow on Rabbit island. So the day after took we the boat to the Rabbit Island, or we tried at least to catch the boat... If they transport cambodian people they can squeeze down around 15 people in every boat, but according to the law if they are transporting foreigners they can only take six people in every boat. So we ended up waiting there on the pier for around three hours before we finally were able to leave. We can put it this way; the organization could have been a bit better...

Finally at Rabbit island on Friday. One beach with lots of bungalows on, and here we are talking basic bungalows. One double matress on the floor, one mosquito net, one lightball that they turn on between 6 pm and 10 pm (18-22), one toilet the whole in the ground style, no aircon, no fan. In the space between the wall and the floor in the toilet did a chicken jump in, and walked around in our bed. Believe me you get pretty suprised when you open the door and see an alive chicken walking around were you are suppose to sleep. After that we realised that it was a good idea to close the bathroom door when we left the bungalow...

Earlier on my trip I had meet people who totally loved Rabbit island, who explained that it was their favourite place in Cambodia and they spend over a week there. I had, and have, hard to understand this. Sure the beach was nice, but pretty short. Outside the beach there where no real roads along the island, which meant that you more or less was trapt on the beach. Not even the restaurants, if you can call them that, had any fans, so during the hottest period of the day (and here we are talking HOT) there were no where to escape the heat. So for me the whole place was just to warm, to small and to much of a feeling of being trapped, not be able to go anywhere. Also my not so funny travel associated can have effected my judment of the island, since I started to get serioulsy tired of them... So I decided to just leave the morning after, escape from the whole situation you might put it...

So of I went at 6 am the morning after, boat back to Kep, bus up to Phnom Pehn, waiting there for the next bus to Siem Reap. The first like eight hours of the trip I was fine, it was just nice to be on the road again and the cool thing was that I felt so relaxed, so not nervous for coming to a new place, new people etc. And that's cool, cause at some point after so long time of traveling around by yourself you just get use to be insecure, to not know what will come next. This nice feeling sustained until somewhere around traveling hour nine, but for the last four hours of the trip I got tired of being on a bus and just wanted to be in my hostel room in Siem Reap.

Had, in my lonely planet of course, found a place in Siem Reap that had really chaep dorms, for one us dollar per night. Both cheap and a nice way to meet people, was what I thought until I arrived at the hostel. If you learn one thing by traveling around like this is; that before you go to a place you have this image in your head about how the place will look like and in 95% of the cases you get suprise and realize that it doesn't look like that at all. You may think that you would learn from this and just stop create this forehand pictures, so you don't have to use energy at every new place to adjust the reality to the picture you had, but at least I seem to be incaple of stop create this expectations. But some places makes you more suprised than others. Arriving at the backpackers place in Siem Reap; they had availible dorm beds and they just costed one dollar, the only problem was that they were outside, no roof, no walls. Just some matrassess on the ground, next to each other. The only privacy you had was a mosquito net. No were to look your belongings, no privacy, nothing. It's in those moments you brain just stops for a while. I mean I have learned that my images won't be accurate, but still somewhere your umagination has a bottom line for what it can imaging that it will look like, and this was beyond that line for me. Just as the dorm place in Ho chi minh city that had matresses 3 cm thin, or the place here in Thailand that wanted to give me a half of a double bulk beds (like two double beds on top of each other). I mean how do they think then? That I will sleep there with some random person sleeping five centimeters from me?
Anyway in Siem Reap after checking out five other places I found a okay cheap okay clean place.

The day after, Sunday, I woke up and realized I didn't want to do anything, at all. Just reading my book, laying in my bed, watching tv. I wondered why I was so tired until I realized that I during the last 9 nights I had slept at eight different places... A bit, just a bit, of crazy traveling around... So Sunday was a wonderful lazy day. Monday I woke up and realized I had got more of the blisterds that had started to come a couple of days earlier. Consulated my mother which thought it was because of the heat. So also Monday did I spend mostly in the hotel room, now upgraded to air con, hoping that they would dissapair by themselves. Which they of course didn't. So the day after I had to go to the doctor, spending 40 us dollar on the doctor for five minutes and another 50 dollar on medicine, hurray! Bu they are gone now so recon it was worth it.

The big thing in Siem Riep are all the old temples, and here we are talking heaps of temples, old, big and beautiful. But once again, the heat. I headed out with two british girls before sunrise, by eleven o clock all you wanted, no matter how beautiful the temples are, you just want to head back to your cold hotel room. And also realized that even if I really love history I don't so much like old ruins, I mean they are cool, of course, but still, it's a bit dumb, they don't say so much about what happened there (if you don't pay for a guide of course), and me personally, after seing like six big temples it feels pretty enough. So even if I'm a little bit ashamed to admit it I spend four days in Siem Reap but only a hald day at Angkor Wat and the temples... But I still had some really nice days reading and watching tv and drinking margeritas. Found this mexican restaurant who served the most wonderful 2 dollars frozen margaritas. When you starst sweating 8 am in the morning you can't think of a more wonderful drink. I who always want to try new restaurants ate as this particular place three times during four days, the reason? Frozen strawberry margeritas

Now the big plan was leaving Cambodia for entering Thailand. My original plan was to go north in Thailand first for maybe five days to be able to see something more of Thailand than just the beaches, but after spending too many too hot days in different cities I realized I wouldn't keeep with more 35+ cities and also since the situation in Bangkok was really unstable I decided to go straight to Phuket. The big question was just how to get there? By bus or plain? If I would enter via bus I would only get 15 days visa for Thailand and it would be an around 24 hours bus ride, and I had to pass Bangkok which didn't felt really secure. The other option was to fly, more visa days, faster, no Bangkok, but so much more expensive. After a lot and lot of thinking I decided to be economic and go by bus. Found an express bus that would only take 7 hours to Bangkok. Ha, ha. We should have arrived 12.30 at the bus station in the middle of the town, we ended up at 3.30 in the bus station four kilometres north of the city centre. That is so, so typical for traveling in Asia. Here it's not the issue if you become ten minutes later than promised. Here you realize that the time is approximated times, and the important is if you arrive were you are suppose to arrive, I mean at least in the right city, kind of in the right time, +/- some hours

Am in the capital of Cambodia, Phnom Pehn. Came back to the hotel room at 7 pm, stayed in the aircon room for three hours and just got out again, it is then you realize how hot it is here. It's 10 pm (22.00) and it most be around 33 degrees, I'm sweating over the whole of my body and it's light evening, crazy. That's the weird thing here. I have been in 40 degrees in Europe to, but the difference there were that during the evening it got colder and nice, here it's still so crazy hot. Have been away for around 35 days now and spent most of them in 35+ (and realize that that is the temperature in the shadow, then you can imagine the heat in the sun, and sunny is it always here, every day), you should be used to the heat than shouldn't you? In some ways I am, I mean regardless the heat I have managed to perform one full day of sightseeing, including walking around in the city for one hour. So I manage to still function but I still get tired and can honestly say that if I have to chose between the two extremes being Swedish summer and Asia summer I prefer Swedish summer.

Cambodia, I haven't got a grip of the country yet. In some way it reminds me about India. It's more garbage laying here on the streets than in Vietnam. The countryside feels less developed here than in Vietnam. Phnom Pehn is more expensive to live in than both Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh city, which surprised me, I had expected it to be cheaper in Cambodia.

Will tomorrow travel south and the day after tomorrow end up on a small island, which everyone who has been there, says is really nice. And there we are talking undeveloped, the island is suppose to have one restaurant and some basic bungalows so it will be real interesting to see how that trip end up.

It's a bit funny. I have in this blog tried to be quite honest regarding how it's actually is to travel around by yourself, and I have tried to not make it sound that's "the time of my life" just because a trip like this "should" be so funny and great and amazing and most important funny. Still the comments I get from people is that it sounds so great and that they are jealous at me. It makes me wonder, what image of this trip do I create in this blog? Have I fallen in the "you always how to pretend that you have the most amazing life" trap? Cause honestly to go by yourself like this is breathtaking lonely sometimes. When you are sitting in a new city, the fourth that week, alone in a shabby hotel room and the only question in your head is what the f-ck you are doing there instead of being home with your friends and family? To constantly meet new people and spend maximum four days which each. And more important how rare it is to meet people that you really click with.

With this said I don't say that the whole trip is shit, of course not. And I don't say that I regret that I went, even if no one could follow me. I definitely not regret that I went on this trip. I love to see all the places (even if you once and a while only feel, not another city I don't have the energy to find a new city center, to understand how a new city is constructed, but except for these moments I really like it). I love to see that I actually have managed to pull it. That I am here, am fine, and have made it all by myself. It's just the having fun part I can't really feel comfortable with. Of course I have had fun. But over all the last month isn't one of my life's funniest months. I would have had a much more fun time here if I had traveled with someone. No, not so simple. Not traveled with just anyone, but with a friend I really like (like the one who had thought about joining me). Being together like that, 24 7, then you really has to be with the right person. I can be totally amazed over couples who has been traveling together for five months and still not seem to be bored at each other. Traveling with a friend for five months, that I could do, cause when you are traveling with a friend you talk to other people, travel with some other people for some times and so on, but I mean couples, it's not really like they hook up with one single traveling person for a week or so, cause couples, at least the one I have seen down here, are so much just them, and being that for five months, I think I would have gone crazy. But still. If I had had with me the friend who was thinking about joining I would have had a much funnier time here. I don't say better, cause that can be a totally different thing, but it would have been funnier. And it can still be, if I meet some people that I really like to travel with. Cause that was a surprise, I had expected it to be easier to find some fun people that I really like who is actually going in the same direction as me. I mean you can always find people (that's one good thing with traveling alone, you get real good at take contact with people), but as today. Yesterday on the last day on the tour to Cambodia there were three other people who traveled alone, one man from Germany, a guy also from Germany and a French guy. I started to talk to them and we decided to share room, which we got really cheap. We also shared a tuck tuck (kind of taxi) for the sightseeing today. All this is good, since it saves money, but we doesn't fit as persons, I don't fit with them and have had a pretty boring that, even if it was cheap .

Back to the if the trip would have been better with someone with me, part. Cause it would definitely had been more fun, but is fun = better, is that the goal of the trip? Honestly I don't know, I haven't really figured it out yet. Cause it something big to know that I managed to go to the other side of the world and fix it. That I managed to meet my feeling of my own loneliness that I have some days. To be able to sit in the middle of Cambodia and feel fine, even if it's just me alone in the evening (I escaped the guys beer). And maybe these things, and all the other similar things you get when you travel alone, is worth more than "having the funniest time of your life"? Honestly I don't know. And I don't write it so I can keep sending out the signals that I am a so big success who has an awesome life. I'm just... thinking and trying to sort it out in my own head. Cause it is big to sit in a country on the other side of the world and feel happy even if you are alone.

Now how to apply for uni for the autumn semester, which is pretty difficult right now. I don't know if I want to continue studying next semester. I don't even know in which country I will be. If I decides to skip more travel and go back to uni I don't know in which town I want to study. So to sum it up I don't know if I want to study, I don't know what I in that case want study, and I don't know were. Yey, and I have to apply latest tomorrow, funny, not.

Was way to long since I wrote something so here we go.
Vietnam. Have spent 8 days here. Am in love with the food, it's so amazingly good. Even if you buy street food it tastes fantastic. And so, so cheap. Eating on restaurant for 2 euros, that's cool. Will so miss eating here when I leave.

For the rest? Honestly Vietnam feel a bit like a trip to Rhodos. Everything is so easy here. You can buy bus tickets everywhere (they even pick you up at your hostel), you can book tours in every corner, you meet fellow travellers everywhere. It's so adjusted to tourists, and it's nice cause it makes it easy, but still, in India (even if I didn't really liked the country) every day there was an adventure. Only by travelling by bus you had a full days entertaing in front of you, then I came here, were so happy in the beginning that it all was so easy, but now... I had expected Vietnam to be more... challenging, more different, more of an adventure. I have become one of this annoying "i have already seen everything, this isn't anything compared to..." persons. Pore my surrounding I have seen more ugly trains in India, have seen more crazy traffic, been travelling longer bus trips, have seen more dirty streets, more ugly hotel rooms, larger cockroaches, etc, etc. I have become blasé... Which is funny cause I am one of the least blasé persons I know... Weird.
But am happier here. Less scared (not at all actually), less home sick, like it better.

It's hot here to. Don't even know how hot any longer. But it's nice here in Hoi an, it actually gets cooler in the evening. Was so funny yesterday. Me and the portugese women I am travelling with right now, was staying at an awesome hotel, with big lovely rooms and a pool Had AC in the room, opened the door in the evening and thught that it was really cold in the room, went back out after five minutes and realised it wasn't our room that was cold it was outside it still was so warm, but I was so used to it that I didn't even realise it...

Came to Hanoi, north of Vietnam for eight days ago. Took a trip to Sapa, a village north of Hanoi. Went there with a so cute sleeper train. We were a group of six, two aussie guys, one women from portugal living in Belgium, one guy and girl from Indonesia and me. Was a cool group, everyone 25+, easy to talk to etc. Up in Sapa we did a two days trecking walked around between the small villages, was cool to see some "real Vietnam" and up ther it was really as I had expected Vietnam. Beauiful nature and all these terrasses. Was also real interesting to had the chance to speak to two persons from Indonesia, to realise that our life are real different in some ways but that we still as persons are so alike. Really cool.

Hanoi is crowded. The first city were the exhaust from the vehicles have given me headache. After three hours surrounded by all these motorbikes you are totally exhausted. How to cross a street full with motorbikes, bikes and vespas? You just walk stright out really slowly so all the bikes can drive around you. Crazy but true. Stayed in Hanoi in a really Aussie style hostel with dorms with bunk-beds, felt as home And it's a really nice way to meet people, casue you naturally starts to talk to people, it's nice even if it's just for five minutes.

Left Hanoi with the over night bus to Hue. The buses here is an experience. It's three double rown with beds. You have your feet in a box which is the person's in front of you pillow. A bit weird, specially since the Vietamese people are pretty small and am not so tiny, but managed to lay on the side and sleep. (the fact that I had spent the three nights before on a night train, in a homestay on a thin madress, and on another night train, and been up since 4.15 may have helped...).

Hue wasn't that spectacular. Is suppose to be the cultural center of Vietnam, with some old graves of ancient kings, was pretty beatiful and interesting architecture but not so much fun for the rest. Exciting enough thou since one of the girls on the followed her to the hospital, accompanied by the friendly guide. Coming to a hospital with a dead scared girl you don't know, where no ones speak english, is pretty scary. The guide helped us, and that was big luck, but he still spoke pretty bad english so he could only understand the most basic things. And I mean she was scared, I was definetly scared since I had watched her collapse, none of us knew what to expect. A (so so expensive) mobile call to Sweden and mam the doctor made me a bit less shoken up, her telling me it can happen because of the heat. Anyway, we got a bill and paid it, went in to the doctor, he felt on her head (she hit it badly when she fall), we went to the reception again, got a new bill, didn't know for what, the guide couldn't translate it for us, the only he told us was 24 hours, we didn't understand if we were suppose to stay at the hospital for 24 hours or come back in 24 hours, but we paid the bill, hoping we didn't have to stay for 24 hours, and followed him again, to what was a blood sample. The girl was deadly afraid of neadels and had a really bad time taking it. After that they xrayed her head. We waited ten minutes, got the result, the doctor told everything was fine, and we could go. So her attack was scary, coming to a hospital where no one can speak english is scary but the hospital was impressivle fast. It took as maximum 40 minutes from start to end, if it would have been in Sweden we could have been sitting there waiting for hours and hours, and it was cheap. So my hat of for the Viatames healthcare. And thank god we had the sweet guide who followed us there.

After this dramatic end of the guided tour I wad drop dead tired, got early to bed and left for Hoi an in the morning (yesterday morning). Came here to Hoi An and checked in at our lovely hotel. Clean, fresh, big, with a pool, free tootbrush, free robe. Just lovely. Spend the whole day at the hotel. Had a plan to get myself in to town, but after a failing attempt to rent a bike with a helmet (only helmets to motorbikes) I gave in and spend the rest of the day by the pool, at the computer and at the hotel restaurant. The room was expensive for Vietnam standard (9 euros/person) so we checked out this morning and found a cheaper one for only 5 euros, good to be economic but right now I miss our pool... But this place is closer to town (a really cute town) and closer to the beach, whcih I will rent a bike and explore tomorrow, it's suppose to be really, really nice

Have been living on the country side in India for the last couple of days, but now I'm back in civilized areas again with internet...
Am now in Kochi, my last stop in India am flying from here to Vietnam on Monday afternoon. . What I have been able to see from Kochi on the three hours I've been here (in other words between the hotel and the restaurant) it seems like I have ended up in a tourist place that could have been in Italy or Greece, it is cute, calm, quite and picturesque. It's really nice, but so weird. Have learn that India is chaos, everywhere. That India is never cute and calm, and then I ended up here and saw something new. Have the last week spent four nights in Kannur, on a lovely homestay/hotel, all food included, placed on a cliff with a lovely postcard beach in under. So beautiful and lovely, I needed that after my first week, needed to just be able to wake up, walk around the house and get breakfast served. Then down the stair to the beach, lay down until it got to warm (normally around 12), walked up again sat in a sun lounger read my book until it was lunch at 1 pm. Then took a nap during the warmest time on the day, woke up and spend the afternoon on the beach, after had watched the sunset went up again, took a shower and walked around the house and had dinner. And what a dinner then, so gorgeous food, a long way from chicken masala that you get on Indian restaurants in Sweden. Fish with rise and three to four vegetarian souses, so so good. Right then was it so nice to not have to take any decisions, not have to go anywhere, just have everything served. And the beach, so beautiful, I have spent five months on Australia's amazing beaches and I still got impressed. And the water, the temperature was over 30 degrees have never in my life been swimming in so warm water in nature, crazy. Meet, among others, a cool couple from the Netherlands. They left the Netherlands in September and have with their camper van been driving through Europe (Italy, Greece and so on), Turkey, Iran (for five weeks, how cool isn't that?), Pakistan and for the last months through India, and they are doing all this with there two year old son. I was so imprest by them. Only driving in India would scary the most people to death, is totally insane. Traveling for five weeks through Iran, I mean that is impressing and on top of it all take there small child with them. In the end of April will they ship there car back to the Netherlands, while they themselves will fly to Australia and travel there until August. Was so interesting talking to them, here have I been scared to travel around for two weeks in India and they have done all this, I was impressed.

Traveled from Kannur to Waynard wild life center, was so luxury so I went the three hours by taxi It cost less than 300 sek (30 euros) but it felt so nice to just sit there and be driven from door to door. We saw three elephants standing along the road, pretty cool. The place up there were owned by the same company/organization so had high expectations on it. The room was cool, in a tree house, also the surroundings were amazing, liked I had walked in to Kipling's Jungle book. The food thou was a disappointment either way to spicy or way to salt, even the toast for breakfast were burned... Went for a wild life tour in the wild life center on the morning at 6.30 am, which was early for me who has been waking up around 9 am for the last weeks... We saw lots of dears, some wild boar (they looked so much like Pumba in the Lion King), one monkey and five elephants. So I have actually seen wild elephants, that's pretty cool. In the evening took (or yeah I paid for being driven there but still) the family of the homestay me to some kind of religious festival. It was like a combination of a market, a temple and a cheap fair (tivoli), the whole thing felt pretty cheap, they had one cool thing thou (or crazy) cars and motorbikes driving on the walls in a circular building, they are driving with up to five cars at one time, round and round on walls that are almost straight, crazy. But apparently a big thing in India.

Was economic and decided to take the bus from the wild life center to Kochi, and that was an experience! The thing that you haven't lived if you haven't taken a train in India should be changed to you haven't lived if you haven't traveled by bus in India. Entered the bus at 8 am, was in Kochi 5 pm. Was sitting in the front seat and had so much fun, cause when you are traveling by bus in India you have to choices become dead scared for how they are driving or just decide that you will survive and enjoy the ride. I chose the last alternative. And believe me it's crazy, insane, to sit there. In India traffic rules are seen more as guide lines than as rules. Everyone is always trying to overtake, and worse are definitely the buses. As someone said, India is funny they drive as madmen to come there as soon as possible and then they can just stand there for hours doing nothing. My bus driver was definitely energetic, he should overtake everyone. Taxis, other buses, small cars, all of them. And I mean most roads in India is two lines, one in every direction, but still people are overtaking like crazy. Sometimes can you meet three cars in breadth. The rule seems to be that biggest goes first and everyone just expect the small car to drive on the side of the road if someone who is overtaking can't be finished in time. It works somehow, since everyone knows that the real rules doesn't matter, if two buses in breadth (one is overtaking the other) comes against you they won't stop they will just horn until you drive as much of the road so they can get the room. The only problem seems to occur when one bus overtaking another bus/truck meets a third bus, then they actually have to rewind. Crazy. If not the driving behavior is entertaining enough you can enjoying yourself just looking at everything. The so amazingly beautiful nature (especially up in the mountains, it's as you had climbed straight in to the Jungle book) and the so ugly cities (I really try to like them but it's hard) and all the people working, standing, walking. I had an awesome time, until around 2 pm cause then it started to get hot, around 35 degrees in a bus with no AC. They don't have any glass for the windows so the wind breeze all the time, at least as long as you drives with a high speed, the sad times are when you are in the cities and the traffic goes so slow, then it's starts to be hot, real hot.

The funniest thing was that when I come to my hotel in Kochi I looked myself in the mirror and thought that I looked a bit pail, I took a bit of wet paper and dried it on my face and the paper got brown. I was literally dirty in my face, all the dust from the soil and from the vehicle and the asphalt had made my brown, so much fun. Okay enough for tonight, am still a bit tired and am sitting here feeling as the whole world is seesawing, both because I've been sitting on a bus a whole day and cause I've been eating just toasts and crackers the whole day until my dinner at 7 pm, that's the only down side by traveling by bus, it makes two longer stops during the whole trip (one for 5 minutes and one for 15 minutes) and I was way to scared to be left there, with no backpack and no bus to go with so I just ran of fast and bought what I really needed and was then back on again... Still a bit skeptical regarding India's ability to keep a declared time (and just eating biscuits was an easy exchange to not be standing there wondering what the hell I should do know with no backpack and no bus to go with... )

Goa.
People are actually smoking pod and are getting high here, I just thought it was an old cliche... I think I am to much coming from Sweden for all that, I mean for me life is good cool enough anyway, don't really get it. Even if we in Sweden are pretty good at using alcohol, don't know if it's are supposed to be so much better, but since I'm already on a regular basis (even if not right now, not in the mood for it) am using alcohol I can skip the rest. But it's weird hearing people talking about charing a joint, at least from where I come from.
Have been to the market who is here every week. It was cool. Bought real leather sandals for like 75 sek / 7,5 euro, one pair of trousers for 35 sek / 3,5 euro. A drop dead gorgeous bed cover (sangoverkast) for 120 sek / 12 euros, etc. It's crazy. And am starting to get pretty good at barging, and is only on my sixth day, when I will come to Thailand and China I will be a pro on it . But the whole market was a cool experience, so big, so much stuff, and salesmen who were not so much on you, so you actually had the time to look at things without someone starting to try to sell it to you after one second.
Took an afternoon dip in the ocean after that, and felt pretty luxury laying there in the warm water. Then went to a restaurant, were I had been earlier in the morning with some of the people from the hostel, sat on my table right next to the ocean listening to the waves and watched the sun slowly went down. Eat a so, so good vegetarian lasagna and drank the best juice shake in the world. It felt luxury, realizing that I have 10 more weeks of this ahead of me. I mean it's still sometimes hard being here alone, of course it is, but at the same time I start to see the benefits of it, I can do what I want. I don't have to care about what people I will live at the same place for three days thinks about me, I can join if I want to, or chose to be alone if I want to. Have still a long way to walk, to stop carrying so much about what everyone thinks about me, to realize that I actually don't have to be a part of all groups I will meet, that I actually can chose. Chose the people I like, the once where it gives more than it take to spend time with (like the English girl who is working her as a volunteer, whom I started to speak to yesterday, she was so cool. Coming here alone working with other volunteers in the slum with street kids). Or chose to just be me some days and enjoying the time to just think, reading a book, doing nothing.

Read a friends status on facebook that she wanted to lay on a hot beach with a drink in her hand, just being, letting all the planning for the future be. Thought it was funny, cause seriously so far, being here is much less relaxing than being home. Being home I mean there I know what I am suppose to do, who I am, that I can meet my friends just one phone call away. Being here, confused, lost, alone, trying to decide what to do next, who I am when everything around me has changed, handle all the thoughts that comes up, it's more of a full time job than working back home was .

But as I said, it's at the same time cool and pretty refreshing being just me, be able to do what I want, whether if that mean going out getting drunk or as in my case just now, "hiding out" (a little like that anyway) on an internet cafe meanwhile the rest on my hostel (with no private space) are drinking vodka and getting high. Or if it mean to sit eating breakfast with other people from the hostel and actually just allow myself to be pretty quite, cause I don't have to impress on those five people. To actually take myself the right to be that "uncool" and do what I want. I still have a pretty far way to go to be able to do such things real easy, but I am at least on the way. So yeah, am starting to like it.
My speech therapist always said: "When you are going away on a trip you always learn new things, you just never learn what you had expected", and I think it's like that. I had expected me a cool, fun, vacation trip. It's still cool, definitely, it's many times fun, but it's also something more, serious and starting new thoughts about who I am etc., I hadn't really expected that but starting to get use to it and appreciate it, at least some of the time

Realized something today, you know on all your CV:s and so on you always write that "you love to meet new people", I do that at least. Realized today that I don't like to meet new people, not the meet, meet moment. The moment when everything is so nervous and everyone is just talking easy things (on the surface) etc. Got reminded today that I suck at those situations cause I just feel so, so uncomfortable and want to run away from the whole situation, as far away as I can. The moments after that, when you actually starts to know people, when the first stiff moments are over, it's then I like to meet new people. Or I like to meet the people that you are clicking with from the first second (or at least the first ten minutes...). And my stuttering doesn't make it easier. Meeting new people, how do you tell people that you are stuttering without making it sound like you are apologizing? If you are in a introduce yourself situation, when everyone around the table are introducing themselves, that's easy cause then it's just to say "yeah I stutter by the way" But when you sitting chatting around a table with five new people, how do you squeeze that in to the conversation without making it sound stupid? After this trip I will hopefully know the answer of that question, and then I will tell you...

Am now in Goa. If you have to have taken a train in India to have lived, I can skip to live. Taking a train in India is almost as back home, except that it has different seats, guys are running around selling food, drinks and snacks all the time, and it takes awfully long time. It should have taken nine hours, ended up in ten. But damn so boring, couldn't really look out since it was condensation between the glass in all the windows, and there I was laying/ sitting for ten hours. So yeah you learn to be patient, and it give you a good opportunity to study middle class Indian people, and talk a bit with them. But for the rest? This trips most boring ten hours...

Had booked a dorm room in my hostel in Goa, me stupid had in mind an Australian dorm room, ha, ha. Had expected the train trip to give me surprises, it didn't, hadn't expected the hostel to give me a surprise but it did. Top ranked at hostelworld.com, eight beds in a big room, one lamp in the ceiling, one fan in the ceiling, that's all, no place at all to be private in the whole hostel, so much not me.

So right now I am wondering what I am doing here instead of being home, safe, with people that I love and who loves me instead of sitting here feeling miserably, lost and lonely.
But will remember my start on my Australian trip (which was much worst than this) and believe that this will end up awesome, even if it feels a long way from now...

Tomorrow morning it's time to leave Mumbai to take the train to Goa and some beach and swimming (Which feels so tempting after another day of 35+ in a city)

Have managed to buy me an Indian sim card today. You need a copy of your passport and a photo (don't ask me why) but I managed to find a store and pull it all of, am damn proud over myself. Can call home phones in Sweden for 1,3 sek/min (0.13 euro/min), from my mobile, that's crazy cheap. But that's the interesting with this city, the old India and the modern world have totally clashed and they still exists, side by side. People sitting in old small motorcycle taxis talking in there mobile phones. On the streets are there a crazy mixture of new shining cars, trucks from 1950, old taxis and men running with wheelbarrows (typ skottkärra). It's a crazy and so fascinating mixture.

Am starting to feel a bit more oriented in this new crazy world. Like I standing on my feet again, after been going around in a tumble dryer for the last two days. In some ways would it actually been nice to stay for some more days, to be able to see more of the town, now when I am actually able to see something beyond my earlier panic.
What I can take with me from Mumbai:
Don't ever start an India trip here, it's to much, would have been better to start it in one of the more "charter" places in the south to got used to India, and then finish up in Mumbai. Now I got India, me alone and a 16 million crazy city at the same time.
Mumbai is actually cool, you just have to see beyond all the craziness and get used to it. But definitely cool!
If I would have had more time I would have chosen to see more parts of Mumbai, even the north parts, I think that would have been cool.
And I would definitely taking more taxi trips, cause that's so much fun, it's crazy cheap and you can see the whole city little from a distance and can be amused by that you still haven't crashed. It's a life experience to take a cab in this city!

Talking about life experiences, I read somewhere that you haven't lived if you haven't talking a train in India. I will do that tomorrow, leaving Mumbai 6.55 are supposed to be in Goa 17.16 (over 10 hours to travel 760 km...) And I'm looking forward to it with skrackblandad fortjusning or rather fortjustblandad skrack... (This fear with delighted again). Am a bit nervous, cause have no idea how it works. I have my train ticket and I know where the train station is that all, how to find right train, right wagon and right seat, no idea. Do they have toilets on the trains? No idea. How will I know which stop that is mine? How do I buy food? No idea. Ones again, to not know how u do the basic things...

Will now find me a taxi and try to find a, according to Lonely planet, delicious dessert coffeehouse. And enjoying that I actually feel pretty fine and calm.

Before I left Sweden I was aware that I would stand here in Mumbai and mostly wonder what the h- I was doing here? Feeling so lonely, lost and small in that big crazy city. I know all of that and still when I am actually standing here and feeling lost in every sense of the word, I still get surprised that it feels so hard. That the panic always is so close, cause how will I fix this?
You forget so fast. My first weeks in Australia I was lost, the feeling that you don't know how anything of the basic thing you take for granted works, how the bus system works, how to withdraw money, where to find the shops etc. Then you get to know all this things and you forget how lost you felt that first time. But now I've got reminded.

Someone described Mumbai as a "noisy hell" and it is. It lives 16 million people in this city. It's cars, the never ending sound of there honking, people and salesmen, everywhere. It's crazy. The cars drives zigzag to go faster, and I mean four (kind of) lines with cars, buses, trucks, motorbikes driving zigzag, all of them honking. People are crossing the streets, in the middle of this, crosswalk or not, green or not, they just walks. This city has to have the most alert drivers in the whole world, cause they don't crash. They have like 3 cm in between them but they don't crash. It's pretty fascinating to watch.

That part is cool, and I like it, all the energy the town has. But at the same time, on my second day in India, arriving from a cold Gothenburg, it scares the shit out of me. Cause it's too much. Too much people, too much noises, too much of everything.
Too much males. No matter where you are, you see 95% men and 5% women. In the hotels, shops, on the streets. It's just males. Coming here from Europe, pale with red hair, you are already different, on top of that, being a women traveling alone, you stand out, like a peacock. I'm not use to it, I wasn't prepared for it and I don't like it.

I have always been looking down on Swedish people who are traveling to Greece and are ordering meatballs and Americans traveling to Asia eating ceasar salad. But right now I can understand them, the urging to find something that you recognize when the whole world seem to have turn upside down. Yesterday on my first day in Mumbai I had to find an ATM, buy sun protection and find a restaurant for lunch. Being at home, this is something I could have done in my sleep, but I'm not at home... Finding an ATM took me 40 minutes of walking up and down. Finding a restaurant almost the same. I had my lonely planet, I had found a good spot in there and it seemed so easy to find, but how do you do when the streets don't have any names, when you know if you stay and pull out your map you will have be surrounded by 15 of the sales mans who are standing close by, everywhere. It's in this moments, when you are standing there all alone and being totally lost, you start to miss a cold Gothenburg and meatballs.

But as I said, I know it before I left, I just had forgot have hard it feels when you actually are standing in the middle of it. I had forgot that part because afterwards, looking back on my Australian trip, those first miserable weeks was so unimportant for the rest of it was so awesome. And I believe (and desperately hope ) that it will be the same thing here. So I will suck it up, go out and once again meet this hot, noisy, confusing, scary and so frustrating city called Mumbai. I will go out there and do what I can to stay on the right side of the panic line.

Now it's for real. Changed my extra thermometer and extra watch on my computer from Newcastle, Australia, to Mumbai, India. It's 31 degrees there right now at 22.40.
Am a bit hysterical, to much still to do and all I want to do is to lay on the couch doing nothing. Think I am seriously insane who will sit on the flight tomorrow, all alone. The question I dislike most right now: "But do you meet people along the road, or how does it work? Cause I mean it will be pretty lonely being just you for 2,5 month". What do you answer on that? Well, I don't know if you meet people along the road, cause you know I have never done this before, and yeah I am also aware about that it will be pretty lonely being just me for 80 days, thanks for reminding me... I know that they don't mean to harm me, it's just me who is a bit to nervous and to stressed over the whole situation to take it right now.

My biggest fears:

• That I will end up all alone, not meet one nice person that I like who are planning to do the same thing as me.

• Stutter so badly that people can't understand me. A lot in this situation actually make this scenario pretty likely to happened. I will spend much time alone, i.e. I wont speak so much, the less I speak the less coordination training I get, the more I stutter. I will meet new people all the time. The whole thing with being nervous and wanting to make a good impression always make me stutter more. The Asian people I meet in Australia often reacted a bit weird (start laughing etc.) the first time they heard me stutter. It's not because that they are mean, I just think that they aren't used to hear people stutter so much, but the down side for me is that I know that when I start to speak I can expect a bit weird reactions. And finally, for some reason I still, after my five months in Australia, stutter more in english.

• Someone will steal all my things and I will stand there all alone with nothing left.

• That I will be murdered, raped, kidnapped, or something similar.

• That I will sit there in my hotel room with no window in Mumbai on Thursday and just be so terrible homesick and wonder what the hell I am doing there.
  

Yeah, I think it's these fears I have.
I write them down now so I can remember them when I come home and read it and think that I was so silly who was afraid for all this.
Now will I fix all my music to my ipod, print all my tickets and finish packing.

Okay, I am seriously on my way soon.
The tickets are bought, travel insurance, my backpack, all vaccinations are done. I have even managed to start a blog so you all can follow me. It's crazy how many decisions there is to be made before a trip like this. First find flying tickets. Then realise that okay I will fly to India, what is it to be seen there? What do I want to see? Where do I book train tickets? What does the difference classes mean? Etc.

For every new thing I actually get the grip around I find ten new things I don't have a clue about, as which travel blog I should use? Do I want a travel diary or a blog? What is the difference between them? And now, if I want a blog, on which site should I open one? Which one can I use between and which one is the best? The fascinating is how much you learn, so fast. From knowing nothing about India to be able to book train tickets online. From not knowing the difference between travel diary to travel blog, to actually made a decision regarding which blog site I want to use.

I chose based on which one who looked best I don't know if it's the best but the rest had a so ugly structure that I couldn't stand them, so this one it will be, for the next 83 days, so so weird that I will leave tomorrow, and so so scary. Skräckblandad förtjusning as we say in Swedish. (approx fear mixed with excitement/delightful)